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Monthly Archives: June 2012

TO MY ROSE (A POEM)

Image

For long I searched endlessly

For years I peregrinated for a love so scarce

For you I had waited in great anticipation

For a love so true my heart yearned so desperately

 

Then in horizon you materialised

The blossoming beauty your being oozed

Touched my heart in profound desperation

The budding love I hitherto kept within

To maturity my love germinated for you

 

Your presence brought a great relief

Your love unchained my heart in chains.

Years of endless sojourning in search for love

Your love finally terminated.

 

For you I will trudge the world

For you I will give my world

For you I will forsake the world

For your love is pure and true.

© Femi Olabisi (February 2012)

Twitter: @ Femiolas

https://femiolas.wordpress.com

http://femiolabisi.blogspot.com

 

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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Poetry

 

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Overlord of the Federal Republic – I don’t give a damn!

ramblersINC

The Overlord eyed the contingent with a look of disdain. They called themselves The Justice League, and were representatives of The People’s Parliament. They had come to serve him a warning. “Pursue justice and eschew evil; or else, the League will be forced to move against you.”

He laughed. This beggarly bunch? Made up of five men and one woman? Move against him? Did they know who he was? He rose from his throne like chair at the apex of the room and made a pronouncement, “I am the Overlord of the Federal Republic. If you think you can bamboozle me, you are sorely mistaken. I will deal ruthlessly with you, because I don’t give a damn!”

The delegation from the Justice League were taken aback. Had the Overlord taken leave of his senses? Didn’t he realize that The People’s Parliament was the highest civil authority in the land? Overlords will come…

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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Comic

 

BEST DIVORCE LETTERs 2

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Comic

 

WASH BEFORE WEARING……

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in True Life

 

PRESIDENTIAL MEDIA CHAT: PROF. AYITTEH LAMBASTS PRESIDENT JONATHAN

One of the World’s foremost economists, Professor George Ayittey has lashed out at the President of Nigeria, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GEJ), describing him as “a joke” and a mediocre President after his (GEJ’s) encounter with the media last night.

According to Professor Ayittey, Nigeria “deserves a better leader”, judging by GEJ’s poor, almost unfortunate responses to some of the questions posed to him by the Nigerian media last night.

The Professor indicated that GEJ’s refusal to declare his assets and his failure to tackle the Boko Haram crisis suggest that he is of an unsound mind.

He therefore called on Nigerians to rid themselves of GEJ as soon as possible.  He said: “Nigerians should not put up with such mediocrity and should mount a RECALL GEJ campaign. They should check Chapter VI of their Constitution. See Sections 143 and 144 about removing the President and Vice-President from office other than through elections”.

“137; 1c: “A person shall not be qualified for election to the office of President if under the law in any part of Nigeria, he is adjudged to be a lunatic or otherwise declared to be of unsound mind.”

Professor Ayittey, a Ghanaian economist, author, president of the Free Africa Foundation in Washington DC, professor at American University, and an associate scholar at the Foreign Policy Research Institute, made this known on twitter this morning.

Read the entire tweet below:

“Look, this GEJ guy is a joke – a meretricious mediocrity. Nigerians deserve a better leader. Fancy his statements and responses to questions in a media chat on June 24, 2012:

• He has not visited Borno state, the center of Boko Haram attacks, because the airport there was not functional at the time he planned to visit. “And we did not want to land somewhere and fly in to Maiduguri with a helicopter for obvious reasons.”

[Why is the airport not functioning? Why hasn’t it been fixed? And are there no ROADS into Borno State?]

• Asked why he had not declared his assets, Mr. Jonathan replied in an impatient tone, stating “I don’t give a damn” about declaration of assets. He related that he had gone to the late President Umaru Yar’Adua to caution “that we should not play to the hands of some people [by openly declaring their assets].” Mr. Jonathan added, “That is a matter of principle and I am not going to declare. It is not the president declaring his asset that will end Boko Haram.”

• The president said it’s a matter of principle and whether he is criticised from “head to toe” he will not declare his assets. “It is not right,” he said. “I didn’t want even want to declare my assets as VP” but was forced by the then president, Umara Musa Yar’Adua. He said asset declaration is “not the right thing to do.”

[Damn it, it is a constitutional requirement to declare your assets, Mr. President. See Chapter VI, Part 1, Section 140 of Nigeria’s Constitution: “Declaration of assets and liabilities, oaths of President.” And what the hell has Boko Haram got to do with declaration of assets?]

• Agriculture: The president said his government is revolutionizing agriculture in Nigeria.”We are giving cotton seeds free in the North” he said.

[This is the most crass definition of an “agricultural revolution” – by providing free seeds.]

• The President said the government is doing very well in railway construction. “You may not know, but we are working,” he said. He added that his government has made a “significant progress” in railway construction. “You should commend us,” he adds.

[What “significant progress” has been made in railway construction? How many Nigerians are working on railway construction with the contract given to Chinese firms?]

• UNILAG name change: The president said what he did, in terms of law, was correct. You change the name first, then send the bill to the National Assembly later, he argues. “What we did, was the normal procedure,” he said.

[No, Mr. Presient, you had it backward. Before you change the name of University of Lagos (UNILAG), you consult with the university and the student body, which you did NOT do.]

• Crude Oil Theft: “The stealing of crude oil is a Nigerian phenomenon,” the president said. He adds that it has gone cancerous. “We will stop it, but it is like allowing a cancerous cell to grow into a major tumor.”

[Mr. President, theft of crude oil is a CRIME, not a “Nigerian phenomenon or a disease afflicting Nigerians. Describing it that way means you are CLUELESS about how to solve it.]

Nigerians should not put up with such mediocrity and should mount a RECALL GEJ campaign.
They should check Chapter VI of their Constitution. See Sections 143 and 144 about removing the President and Vice-President from office other than through elections.

137; 1c: “A person shall not be qualified for election to the office of President if under the law in any part of Nigeria, he is adjudged to be a lunatic or otherwise declared to be of unsound mind.” Link: http://bit.ly/MSxUws

Professor Ayittey holds a B.Sc. in Economics from the University of Ghana, Legon, an M.A. from the University of Western Ontario in Canada, and a Ph.D. from the University of Manitoba. He has taught at Wayne State College and Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania.

He held a National Fellowship at the Hoover Institution in 1988-89, and then joined The Heritage Foundation as a Bradley Resident Scholar.

He founded The Free Africa Foundation in 1993, to serve as a catalyst for reform in Africa.
In 2008 Dr. Ayittey was listed by Foreign Policy as one of the “Top 100 Public Intellectuals” who “are shaping the tenor of our time”. He lives in Lorton, Virginia.

Courtesy of:  Samuel K. Obour @SamuelObour

Twitter: @ Femiolas

https://femiolas.wordpress.com

http://femiolabisi.blogspot.com

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Thoughts

 

My Short Notes To Obama, Queen Elizabeth And Zuckerberg – By Dickson Kalu

I have been harbouring a number of thoughts in my mind targeted at the actions of the trio of Barack Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Mark Zuckerberg. Being that am a very direct person, I would channel my views directly to whom it may concern.

Let me commence with Obama. I was stupefied, to say the least, when I saw the response you dished out to the reporter that interrupted your speech last Friday. I must say that your attitude could be mistaken for cowardice. How can a mere Website reporter shout you down repeatedly while you were discussing an issue as important as immigration? Such an incident is unthinkable in my country. Imagine my President giving a speech. I know he doesn’t do that often, but didn’t you see the word ‘imagine’?

As a Nigerian, let me give you scenarios that made me fault you. First, that reporter shouldn’t have made it to the gathering because he works with a news agency based online only. Those folks always cause trouble sitting behind a computer. For you to be really recognised, you have to work with an organisation that belongs to an agency like Newspapers Proprietors of Nigeria et. al.

Secondly, the reporter addressed you as just ‘Mr President’ and you didn’t consider that wrong in protocol. In my part of the world, you don’t refer to a President like that. ‘His Excellency, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan (GCFR)’ is just simple way we address the President of a country, twice the size of Texas, at most. What happened to your Law J.D from Harvard University? What about the ‘Senator’ tag you earned from your years at Capitol hill? Wouldn’t His Excellency, Senator (Barrister) Barack Obama sound
fabulous? And that precludes the Doctorate degrees you should have bagged from those Universities seeking to curry your favour.

Thirdly , you addressed the reporter as ‘Sir’ while you courteously responded to his snide disruption. Before you begin to lecture me that ‘Sir’ is simply the polite form of address to a man, I would remind you that the English Language isn’t exactly correct. For instance, a girl that is your friend ought to be called your girlfriend, but that is not the case. You have seen my point?  You are the most powerful man on Earth thus shouldn’t be throwing that appellation anyhow to people. The reverse should be the case.

My next port of call would be the great Queen of England, Elizabeth.

In preparation to your Diamond Jubilee, you announced two guidelines: the use of public funds should be minimised and people shouldn’t be forced to celebrate.

Well, I must understand your concerns given the numerous public criticism you have received in recent times. Besides, you have celebrated a good number of anniversaries. Anyway, I must commend the Diamond Jubilee Committee for putting up a spectacle with the £4Million or so budget. But I am particularly not happy with your loyalists.

I perused various UK papers viz. The Observer, Guardian, The Sun, Mirror, Daily Mail, Telegaraph et. al with the hope of seeing copious advertisements heralding your landmark anniversary.

My Queen, you need to see my face. It was aghast. I couldn’t fathom why the Knights, Earls, Dukes, Viscounts didn’t show their public display of loyalty. Should I talk about members of Parliament and Government contractors that have enjoyed your goodwill? Over here, that is how we measure loyalty.

The size of the page (full, half, quarter), colour (multi, single or black & white), postion in the paper (front,centre spread, back) goes a long way to show how loyal one is because of the cost involved. Politicians look forward to momentous events to gauge the loyalty of their acolytes.

That was why I expected things like ” FELICITATIONS!!! We, the members of ………, wish to felicitate with the great Queen of England on this auspicious occasion of her Diamond Jubilee. We pray God to grant thee strength to lead for another 60 years. Long Live the Queen! Long Live the United Kingdom!”

Your Majesty, you must know better than me on the concept on loyalty; after all, you have been on that throne for 60 years and no Charles, Will and Harry can do anything about it.

My last bust stop would be the 28 year-old Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, who got married last month.

How can you be worth $17.5Billion and get married with just 100 guests present? Mark, with over 15 million friends on facebook, why didn’t you invite people to come and rejoice with you and chop your money small nah?

I heard you got married in your backyard. That means you didn’t pay a dime to rent a venue. I refuse to believe there aren’t good places in California to accomodate you.

In Lagos, Nigeria, we have the expansive and expensive Expo Hall of Eko Hotel and Suites. You can’t tell me California doesn’t have a place more comfy than that. You just didn’t want your peeps to come around. I don’t even want to talk about your bride’s dress. Mai Atafo would have willingly made a better outfit sans it being expensive. The rings weren’t bad, but Chris Aire would have supplied much better.

The presence of Rock musician Billie Joe Armstrong was the only highlight, in my opinion. I even learnt the food came from two budget-friendly restaurant. In order words, it came cheap. No Aso ebi sef!!!

You might be ranked higher than Dangote and Adenuga in the Billionaires club, but be it known to you that the daughter of the latter had a classy wedding that’s miles ahead of yours. I wish you a happy married albeit I will add this: next time, do things like a BIG  BOY.

 

NOTE: Credits for this article belong to Dickson Kalu and http://ekekeee.com

 

Twitter: @ Femiolas

https://femiolas.wordpress.com

http://femiolabisi.blogspot.com

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2012 in Thoughts

 

MOTHER AFRICA (A POEM)

Overnight,

My soul went into a dialogue;

Traversing

In a rememoration

And foraging,

In yesteryears – dissecting

What had, what is, what may

Totalising

The continual presage

And hallowed decay

Of this dark sun – this Africa

 

Hers was a hidden haven

Unadulterated, unblemished; untainted….

This was my being, my land – dear Africa

Till preyed upon

By black Vultures,

Pillared by white Hounds

Who rode her into abyssed depth,

Into a precipice of imbalance

 

Sagged is that once sumptuous breast

Milked by twinned evil

Summated,

In the devilish colo-neocolonialism.

And her milked rind

Is not even spared

By risible glitterati –

Pseudo-angelic sons and daughters.

            Who will bail her?

            From prebendal nouveau riches

            Who now saunter

            In their ill-gotten wealth

 

 ©Femi Olabisi (December 2006)

 

Twitter: @ Femiolas

http://femiolabisi.blogspot.com

https://femiolas.wordpress.com

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2012 in Poetry

 
 
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