Jonathan: word used to describe shoelessness, cluelessness and hopelessness in leadership
Election: A means of resetting the musical chair of politicians involved in the stealing game.
Cabal: The highest, biggest and greatest decision making body in Nigeria.
Presidency: A word used to describe an Automated Condolence machine which condemns acts of terrorism and corruption on a daily basis
GCFR: GRAND CRIMINAL OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC. A national award given to the Cheerleader of Corruption.
Committee: a secret code language used in calling the president’s men to Come-and-eat (can also be spelt as (Com-eat-eee)
Farouki: the art of extortion and bribe taking. (Can be used in a sentence… E.g…The policeman Faroukied the bus driver)
Campus: A training camp for future pastors, politicians and prostitutes.
Activist: A man who still wears a safari suit even when the temperature is over 100 degrees centigrade.
Daddy (in the Lord): A general overseer who has walked on top of water just to show off.
Deacon/Deaconess: A title you get when you are too contaminated to be a pastor and yet too valuable- for your tithe – to be an ordinary floor member.
Faroukas: New currency printed by the cabal. It is used in describing bribe money whether in local or foreign currency (eg F620,000 or six hundred and twenty thousand Faroukas)
EFCC: Dog that barks but doesn’t have teeth
Bus Evangelists: A title given to a man or woman who uses buses for his/her church receives tithes and offerings from commuters and screams a lot.
PDP Youth Circuit: A process of seamlessly mashing the new breed politicians with the old breed without leaving a stretch mark.
Friends of a politician: Groupies willing to be gang-raped for a drop of juice from a politician’s table. (Eg Friends of Goodluck, Association of Goodluck’s Facebook friends)
Ruben Abati: A man who holds the top spot on the Guinness book of records for issuing the highest number of condolence messages within six months
Honorable: A title given to those who are allergic to honor, dignity or integrity
Immunity:A bullet proof vest given as a baptismal gift to armed robbers.
Intellectuals: People whose job is to think backwards for their country, speak big english and get paid in dollars
Condemn: newly discovered Weapon of Mass destruction by the current Nigerian regime for bringing the perpetrators of dastardly acts to book.
Twitter: A country in Nigeria where public office holders are widely hated and Subbed. It is filled with rebels of all kinds, NB: its also known in some political circles as a security threat or a breeding ground for terrorists (boko haram).
Junk: The thing stuffed inside the brain compartment of an average Nigerian politician. Researchers at the Moshood Abiola University believe it is made of saw dust soaked in cunning fluid.
Harvard: A foreign university saddled with the responsibility of producing economic hit men and women for Nigeria
Wey Yellow: a free pass to all police checkpoints applicable nationwide (explanation; There’s always a cop with that nickname in 9 out of 10 patrol units… If you ask,they assume you are pals with him&go easy on you)
National Assembly: A meeting place for ex-thugs, ex-convicts and dishonorable men who earn $1,000,000 a year. There they decide if it is time for millions of $1 a day earners to be paid $2 a day.
Edwin Clark: A politician who has mastered the art of keeping himself trending by pissing down his leg.
PDP: Modern day evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Personal Assistant: A well-dressed politicians’ baby sitter who also picks up laundry from the drycleaners
Pundits: Journalism equivalent of charge-and-bail lawyers.
Radical: A Ranting politician with no record of doing anything specific while in government.
Security Vote: An unspecified amount of money given to governors and other chief executives to encourage them to steal government money.
Sting Operation: A secret service operation that could be made up to exist even if it never existed; usually done with the aim of embarrassing those embarrassing the cabal.
Testimony: Public rehearsal of wannabe Nollywood actors, typically in front of a church’s congregation.
Yabiswako: unknown twitter overlord.
Youth Corpers: Lambs sacrificed on the altar of national unity. Usually youths sent to dangerous parts of the country the Commander-In-Chief will never set foot in.
Devils Dictionary: the crazy imaginations of a mischievous Nigerian youth
Follow the writer on twitter @Dolusegun
NOTE: This piece is courtesy of ekekeee.com
Twitter: @ Femiolas