Saatah Nubari: Dear Christian, COZA Won’t Be An Excuse On Judgment Day

26 Aug

I had tried keeping this to myself for some time now, or let’s just say since May this year. It has been my church since I entered the University, The Circle International Church. Located in the outskirts of Port Harcourt, and boasting of about 2,000 members every Sunday, I was proud to be a worker in that house of God. It all started when Mrs. Zelda, called me on a Saturday, to come to their house, to help her send some stuffs to some church leaders since her husband, Pastor Zelda Anselem was a guest minister in another church for a program. With the usual zeal to serve God in any way necessary, I dressed up and went to their house, which was opposite the Corpus Christi Cathedral, along Garrison in Port Harcourt.

On getting to the house, Mrs. Zelda brought out some boxes that contained church invitation flyers. After moving 4 of those boxes into the church car I was supposed to use in conveying the flyers, she asked me to come to the bedroom to pick up 2 more boxes in the wardrobe. I had nothing in mind; I didn’t see anything wrong in going into the bedroom of my pastor since I was only doing God a service. On getting to the room, she directed me to the wardrobe. As I picked the boxes and turned back so I could head for the door, lo and behold, there was Mrs. Zelda, the wife of my pastor, standing in front of me bla bla bla bla bla. You were expecting me to say naked right?

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, there’s no church with the name “The Circle International Church”, and neither is there any human being— let alone pastor with the name Pastor Zelda Anselem. I wanted to even use a name like Pastor Zenda, it was underlined red, and so I right clicked and chose Zelda from the list. The point is this is how simple it is to write a false story and castigate someone. I’m not saying Ese Walter confession is wrong, neither am I saying her heart felt story is right. I’m just keeping my options open; after all they are both human and are programmed to err.

Well the COZA scandal involving Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and Ese Walter is no longer news. As I write this, Pastor Biodun should have mounted that pulpit to deliver a wonderful sermon. I don’t know if the allegations (as at now, there are more than one) levelled against him are correct, and honestly, I don’t care. Let me start by stating that I’m not a Christian. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also not a Muslim or atheist—as a matter of fact, I do believe in our Lord Jesus Christ. Being a Christian means you are Christ like, and we all know what Christ like means. To be Christ like, you have to be without sin, and I happen not to fit that description. So let’s just say I’m trying to be a Christian, i.e. Christ like.

I won’t say much. I’ll just remind us that this is a heavenly race; I think it is a marathon and not a 4×400. If it were to be a relay, we’d know that we have to make sure our team wins, so as to make heaven. Well, I’m sorry peeps, this is a marathon, and it is everybody OYO! (On your own).

When people say that men of God are not that important, and that we all have access to God, I laugh. They are not wrong; we do have access to God individually, but let’s look at it differently. Everything has a hierarchy, even Christianity. You’ve heard of Pastors going mad while trying to cast out demons, and you’ve also heard of pastors who have cast out demons, now what’s the difference? That a pastor went mad doesn’t mean he wasn’t anointed. It simply means him level no reach the demon own. Sorry for deviating from our COZA story. The point is that pastors are very important; they are like a link between us and God, mostly a link between people who have no link to God.

Let’s not judge anybody based on a story we read, let’s try to make heaven irrespective of what our pastor does, did or is doing. There was a reason God gave us the bible, if you think your pastor is not linking you to God the way you want, carry your bible, go on your knees and link yourself to God. When I pray, I don’t ask God for much. I have now started asking him for something different, I ask him to be fair on judgment day because he knows how easy it is to sin and how difficult or almost impossible it is not to sin. His son Jesus Christ was also tempted too. I also pray that he judges me last because I’d love to have a long laugh during the court proceedings, right before I go to wherever I’m judged to go.

We don’t know how God will judge. We might be arranged ethnic group by ethnic group, sex by sex, age by age, continent by continent, colour by colour, he might even zone it—like North East first and all that, just like our political parties do. The thing is that we don’t know how it’s going to be, and who’ll make heaven of hell. God might have labelled it like this:

NAME                    –          DESTINATION
Sani Abacha           –          Heaven
Ibrahim Babangida   –          Hell
Sen. Yerima            –          Heaven
James Ibori              –          Heaven
Olusegun Obasanjo  –          Judgment in progress
Pastor Biodun          –          Heaven
Mrs. Biodun             –          Hell
Ese Walters             –          Hell
Saatah Nubari           –          Still typing this
Goodluck Jonathan    –          Buying a shoe (will be judged when he gets a shoe)

My point is that we should live our lives, serve God and don’t worry about the pastors, they are also in this race with us. That your pastor sleeps with a PCU (Pastoral Care Unit) member doesn’t mean God does not exist or that Christianity is a sham. Forget Pastor Biodun and our so-called repentant Ese Walter, go to church, worship God, read your bible and pray you make heaven. Your pastor won’t be your lawyer when court sits on judgment day—as a matter of fact, there are no lawyers. As for me, I have asked God to judge me last, and I’d be sitting with a plate of hot akamu, laughing when God asks you ”so it is because your pastor bought a private jet and you heard of COZA that you stopped believing in me?”

May we all make heaven, Amen!


Posted by on Aug 26, 2013 in Opinion


2 responses to “Saatah Nubari: Dear Christian, COZA Won’t Be An Excuse On Judgment Day

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